*Ricky Morris* 29/10/2005-18 Years Later "Thinking Of You And Missing You" Gone But Never Forgotten.It all started back in May-05 when I decided to do a website on the memory of my brother 'Ricky' and that's when it all began for myself a journey I never imagined. From that date forward to this I have received a lot of information and spoken to all sorts of people from high up to general people whom either knew nothing or some that knew it all.
Today I still speak to a few who have supported me through this journey, without them I'm not sure where I would be today with all of this. Some say "go get them Cheryle" some just show there sympathy for all that has happened and wish me well with it all.
Its been a hard road after 18yrs, I bring all this memory up for some people and for myself I learn the truth about my brothers death, hard yes, heartbreaking yes, pissed off yes, lots of looking back at the early days when Ricky was inside I use to think "what could I have done to make it all different"?
And there has been lots of "If only I did this or done that" but as I have learnt now I cannot blame myself for the time I couldn't be there for him. Lots of issue's raised their ugly heads but I have had to deal with them one by one during this time. I after all this time can see a bit clearer and now all I can say is I have to move forward and fight for what Ricky would have wanted and get out of my sad-anger stage.
Grieving is one of the hardest things I've have had to go through and in this case really hard as a lot of things didn't add up, corruption within the system, so many lies and yet still looking for answers to all of this shit. I guess I have received the answers but they weren't the ones I was looking for.
When I started all this I went full forward and not to mention at high speed. I contacted so many people and received so much information it was a great help, but some wouldn't tell as they are still in the system today, although a couple gave me some info that was enlightening. A few that were on the inside at the time contacted me and either sent their wishes whilst others just bragged about there time there and it followed with the typical macho stuff, some I contacted were rude and didn't want any part of it (this showed me who the real dogs were).
I came to accept that it was a hard thing to drag up after so long and to some it was an horrific time and their avoidance in this matter was okay to be left until - if they ever felt comfortable to get back to me with anything, I wont hold my breath.
3 months into this I went bang and hit a wall I was so full of anger and hatred towards the system it wasn't a nice feeling. I was so angry with Robert Wright for starting the protest, I was so sad and in pain as I learnt what my brother had been going through and had been through whilst on the inside... Dirty mongrel screws I hope they suffer today for what they had done back then. I say this to the negative ones who were actually in the unit on the day but then again I say it to any screw who mistreated any prisoners back in the Pentridge, Jika-Jika days "any prison actually".
As sad as it is there were some that had committed suicide or became drunks or just left the system after the Fires back in "87". Those who were there and played their part the best they could no longer stand that dreaded day, tormenting their head. Along another line I have learnt that not all are the same, there a few and far between whom really did the job.
On a positive note, some were around but they had to keep their mouth shut in order to keep their jobs, a few have said to me "it should not have happened Ricky shouldn't have been in such a unit" but as usual there is always one story after another, lies-truth-fear-regret-and lots of sorry's.
Somehow I will get the summary of the 'coroners inquest' files added to my site for all to read if you haven't read it yet. I need to do it in a PDF file this I will do, just not sure when.
I have done a few pages of a journal from prisoners that they did back in '88'. Oh, and there is some truth in that. Once completed, I have 7 pages to type out and shall add it to my site as well.
It's been a difficult past 6 months for me, as a person who suffers with depression I could only imagine what I have endured with all of this. Thank you to all who have supported me and whom are still here with me today to help me get to the end of my journey. Credits are in my thank you page.
Where am I going with it all? Well after having a meeting with a fellow friend whom is going to help me and contacts he has, *we have a plan* its going to take a bit and a few walls to break through. The system can forget that day as much as they want but hey "I WONT!"
The day it will all come alive will be the 29-10-07, this will be the 20yr anniversary.
Please be sure to drop in to my guest book and remember all those who lost their life on this day back in '87'. For Ricky he never got to spend his 18th birthday outside so please help me by acknowledging him on Saturday 29th October for the 18th yr of his death.
Time of deaths 4.15 to 4.35... R.I.P
I will be adding more please keep checking back or send me your email addy and I'll inform you of updates as they come..
Pentridge Memorial
It all started back in May-05 when i decided to do a website on the memory of my brother 'Ricky' and that's when it all began for myself a journey i never imagined. From that date forward to this i have received a lot of information and spoken to all sorts of people from high up to general people whom either knew nothing or some that knew it all. Today i still speak to few who have supported me through this journey, without them i'm not sure where i would be today with all of this. Some say "go get them Cheryle" some just show there sympathy for all that has happened and wish me well with it all.
By Cheryle M posted 31 October 05
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