Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Honest John knocks off Telstra

As you read this, John Howard's Government is using its numbers in the Senate to push through the full sale of Telstra.

This is despite the fact that 70 percent (yes 70 percent!) of Australians oppose the sale. As we learnt last week, Telstra is in terrible shape: fourteen percent of Telstra lines are faulty and the company has a $3 billion investment black hole.

The only thing everyone agrees on is that selling off the rest of Telstra will do nothing to fix these problems, or improve services.

The Government is selling us a lemon, and asking us to thank them for it.

Honest Johns Crazy Bargains

By trying to hide a secret report that shows just how bad things are at Telstra, John Howard has behaved like a dodgy used car salesman. If the P.M. wants to act like a dodgy salesman, then we should treat him like one.

Anyone who can knock off Telstra without giving us all the facts should have no problems selling some of the lemons you've been stuck with for years. It could be your clapped out Datsun 180B, an old Atari gameset, or that lawnmower that only starts every third time. What ever it is, Honest John will sell it.

Visit Honest John's Crazy Bargains now to get the Prime Minister to use his dodgy sales techniques to sell your lemon.

Honest Johns Crazy Bargains

Once you've submitted your lemon ask three friends to do the same.

We'll compile a sales catalogue using the photos of the lemons you send in and present them to the Prime Minister. If we collect enough of your lemons hopefully we can make Howard more honest with Australian people in the future.

The full sale of Telstra is no laughing matter. But if we don't make a joke of it, the only thing left to do is cry.


The GetUp Team

P.S. The person who submits the best lemon will win a set of 11 steak knives.

Sell your lemons at: HONEST JOHN'S CRAZY BARGAINS!

My fellow Australians

I'm finally about to flog off of the rest of Telstra.

I've had to use all the dodgy tricks of the trade, because Telstra is a total lemon. Fourteen percent of their phone lines faulty, a $3 billion dollar network investment black hole, horrible services in the bush: it's a bomb, a dud, an absolute lemon.

To knock this one off I've had to hide all sorts of problems. But hide them I did, and now Telstra is ready to be sold to your mother.

You know, Telstra is almost too easy. Poor old Barnaby is completely bamboozled. Makes me think I could sell anything, so I'm offering my services on the free market. I'll sell any lemon, no matter how big, how bitter, how unreliable. No money down, no questions asked, I'll get my people to call your people, wham bam thank you man.

So send me pictures of your biggest lemon with a short caption and the bargain hunting will begin. I've put up some photos of other lemons I've recently sold, just to give you a sense of how good I am.

Game on.

John Howard
Prime Minister

Senate approves full Telstra sale
By Farce 14 September 05

The Senate has passed the legislation authorising the full sale of Telstra after the key Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce voted with the Federal Government.

The Government used its numbers to guillotine and gag debate, and the vote was 37 for and 35 against.

Opposition parties were furious, with Greens Senator Bob Brown describing today's debate as a farce.


The sale of Telstra
By Robin Hood posted 14 September 05

"There's a fox in the hen-house".

Does anyone know anything about numerology? Look it up somewhere. It's very interesting. One of the most interesting things I've discovered is that there's only three letters in the alphabet, each, with the numerological value of 6. And they are the letters F.O.X. True!

Australia, if you let our government sell Telstra, there'll be "a fox in the hen-house". Fox, Foxtel, whatever. Fox is everywhere. Do you really trust this possible turn of events? If you worry, at all, about Australia's, or your own, civil liberties, worry again. Fox can do anything, see everything. Fox is "Big Brother"....(figuratively speaking).

We could try to re-claim the "bit" of Australia we have left, OWN telstra and change it, make it better, for us, by us! We can't buy back our vegemite and our biscuits but we can keep Telstra under our OWN control. Think about it, folks. Who do you think may have their greedy sights on Telstra, especially if it ends up going cheap? Some sly fox, I'll warrant.

All in one day
By FX Wednesday 14 September 05

Joyce suffers health scare do you feel sorry for him? Maybe after today you won't?

Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce went to hospital last night, apparently suffering chest pains.

On the eve the Telstra vote in the Senate, Senator Joyce was taken to the Emergency Department at Canberra Hospital.

The Queensland Nationals Senator acknowledges he has been under a lot of pressure.

"Of course I'm feeling the strain," he said.

ASIC drops investigation of PM's Telstra remarks

Australia's corporate watchdog now says comments by Prime Minister John Howard have no relevance to its continuing investigation into Telstra.

Mr Lucy says he has since been advised by his investigative team that the Prime Minister's comments are not relevant to the ongoing investigation of Telstra.

Labor's leader in the Senate, Chris Evans, accused the Government of not even allowing Nationals Senator Barnaby Joyce - who has been wavering on his support for the privatisation - to speak.

Govt's Telstra tactics under fire

"Senator Joyce - the Hamlet of Australian politics, will he, won't he, will he, won't he - will not be allowed to speak because they are not sure what he'll say," Senator Evans said.

"You cannot win the argument, so you gag your own - I mean that's how arrogant and out of touch and disgraceful your behaviour's become."

But in the end, Senator Joyce did take the floor, signalling that he will indeed back the sale.

Nonetheless, Australian Democrats Senator Natasha Stott Despoja has accused the Government of being undemocratic.

"It's a shameful day, Mr President," she said. "Today, I'm really embarrassed and upset to be a legislator in this place.

"But I know the tide will turn because the Australian people are going to want a check on executive power after they see the way the mandate, so-called, has been abused and used in this place today."

Senator Stott Despoja described the Government's tactics as shameful.

"The Democrats have got amendments too, through you Mr President to Senator Joyce, but we've only got 15 minutes to debate them," she said.

'Hopelessly ineffective'

The group representing Telstra's competitors is demanding last-minute amendments.

The Competitive Carriers Coalition (CCC) says its legal advice suggests the legislation is hopelessly ineffective.

CCC spokesman David Forman says it will be harder for their companies to compete with Telstra in regional areas.

"It says in the bill that they're trying to make things better, but when you look at what the bill does, there's this huge danger in there that we could go backwards," he said.

"I just don't understand why we're not taking a bit more time to work through this and make sure we get it right."


The Telstra scandal
I like the way 51 per cent of the shareholders knew the bad news and 49 per cent did not know because as john hoWARd said he didn't want to break the law and tell everyone else.

Community echoes Telstra sale 'regional fears'
"They need a world class telecommunications network to make sure they can do business online and actually keep up-to-date with new development.