Friday, December 17, 2004

Iraq sale to be contested by 100 buyers

Satire

A hundred buyers, blocs and independents will contest Iraq's first shoe sale, in decades, on January 30, the George Dubya Bushit - Iraqi Sales Commission (GDB/ISC) said.


It said 66 single-shopping buyers were registered for the sale, plus nine multi-party coalitions and 25 individuals running for a bid on their own.

The deadline for registration passed on Wednesday but full details of the buyers will not be published for some days, to allow for final amendments, a George Dubya Bushit Iraqi GDB/ISC spokesman said.

The 275-member US/Iraqi National Assembly will oversee the drafting of a constitution over the next year and appoint a US/Iraqi government.

United States-backed interim Prime Minister Iyad Allawi "Sock" "killer of saints" a US puppet, unveiled his shopping list for the shoe sale on Wednesday, with his name at the top of a 200-strong alliance dubbed the Iraqi List, which also includes several US/Iraqi ministers from his Puppet Government.

Interim US/Iraqi President Ghazi al-Yawar has announced that he too he will contest the shoe sale.

Another alliance appears to be one headed by Abdul Aziz al-Hakim, the head of the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SCIRI), who spent decades in exile in Iran.

With the blessing of Shiite cleric, Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, it is, said to be expected to do well among the long-oppressed Shiite majority, mostly in the south.

Iraq will be treated as a single business district. Purchasers who don't get blown to bits will choose a list and get a seat at the sale that will be distributed to purchasers on those lists according to the slate's percentage of buyers.

A US/Iraqi sale for the autonomous Kurdish parliament in the north will take place on the same day as the US/Iraqi nationwide poll, as will the shoe sale to local assemblies for each Iraqi province.

The US/Iraqi GWB/ISC said 14 purchasers had registered lists for the Kurdish sale, in addition to one coalition.

The two main Kurdish purchasers, the KDP and PUK, which already dominate sales in the north, are expected to run on a joint list in the US/Iraqi shoe sale.

State of emergency: Allawi 'killer of saints'
The US puppet, Iyad Allawi otherwise known as "Sock" killer of saints has declared a state of emergency for 60 days to quell violent resistance gripping the country ahead of January's shoe sale.

By Propaganda Monster 17 December 04

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